Lo4 - Subediting

From the feedback I gained from my client I have realised that overall my DPS body copy was good and conventional to an equestrian magazine due to my 'peer to peer' and 'teacher to pupil' mode of address, this mode of address is conventional to equestrian magazines since the peer to peer style creates a more gossip based and chatty atmosphere, which we stereotypically associate with being things that females like to take part in, and are typically the primary target audience for equestrian magazines, overall making the bodycopy appeal to the main target audience - yet the teacher to pupil mode of address is also conventional to equestrian magazines since when riding you learn new things, similar to how you're learning new things about my friend Frankie and her life etc.. However, simple things such as including capital letters need to be added in certain places. In my feedback I was told that I need to include a headline which potentially consisted of a pun or play on words however I have already done this with my 'Riding with Rocks' headline however this text is placed on my main image not above my body copy which is why it isn't included here. There is a lead at the top of my page however it has come to my attention that it isn't conventional enough in regards to representing an equestrian magazine and therefore I'll try and incorporate the 5 W's into it. Lastly it may be good for me to talk about events occurring at local Sheffield yards in order to make my magazine further appeal to a Sheffield based audience at meet my clients brief.